How Couple Counseling Works For You

by Delituia Koutal

Why is it that couple counseling works really well for some couples and enables them to move on to a happy future together, while other couples seem to only unravel even quicker while they are attending these sessions? When a marriage hits a rough spot some people see therapy as the way out. They somehow think talking is going to make it all better, especially when both people really do not want to get a divorce.

There is something that obviously makes all the difference in how successful this type of therapy is. What could it be?

You may assume that it is a difference in the type of problems that each couple has to overcome, but that is not the answer. Couples facing the most extreme issues can make it through counseling and find happiness together.

Ultimately, couples who do not make it never understand that they have to do more than just talk at one another during those sessions. Let's look at a few ways that you can make your own sessions work in your favor.

First, you have to be open to really listening to what your spouse has to say, even if it hurts. If you go into defensive mode and are just thinking about what to say to prove they are wrong, then you are not really listening. Stop thinking and just listen.

Second, you have to be willing to bare your soul and really state what you believe. You have to be completely open and honest even if it may hurt your spouse. This is how the root issues get uncovered.

The third step involves a mutual effort. You have to get past blaming one another for everything and fighting over things that do not even matter. Get past the petty fights you have had over and over for the past years and get down to the root issues that are fueling all the fighting. Those will be what needs fixed.

Ultimately, you have to listen wholeheartedly, speak the truth, and then go out of the sessions and put what you learn to use. You have to take action every single day to make things better.

Couple counseling can in fact work, but you have to drop your guard and stop trying to be right all the time. If you can get your spouse to go along with those three keys, you will have a fighting chance at working things out.

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