How To Fix Marriage Problems - How You Talk Really Matters

by Angelas Kouta

What does the way you speak to your spouse have to do with your lingering marriage problems? If you are to a point of absolute misery in your marriage but want to work things out so you can stay together, the first thing you need to do is analyze how you are communicating with one another when it comes to discussing your relationship.

What you want when you initiate a conversation with your spouse is for them to relax and be open to what you have to say. Yet, most people actually approach the conversation with a tone that is too rough or accusatory and essentially puts the other person on guard instead. This is not deliberate, but it is why so many people do not understand why their spouse doesn't respond to them well.

Chances are you do the same thing on a regular basis without even realizing it! So many people say they just don't understand why their spouse won't open up and talk to them. What they don't realize is that they are shutting down that possibility by the tone of their voice or their choice of words when they initiate the conversation.

What you need to ultimately do is somehow set aside all of those emotions that are so intense and raw at the moment. You need an all new skill set in order to get past that wall your spouse has erected and start to repair the damage with real conversations about how you both feel and what you want.

To begin with, you must approach your spouse at a time they are most open to communications. For instance, it will not suit you well to come at them when they just got laid off from a job or had a rough conversation with someone else on the phone.

Next, you want to ensure that the way you open the conversation does not make them anticipate a fight. If they think you are upset with them or that you are blaming them for something they will immediately pull away instead of opening themselves to you.

Finally, write down what you want to say ahead of time and carefully select every single word so that you do not state things in an accusatory way. Say whatever you want to say but make it about your feelings, thoughts, desires, and needs. If you can state how much you still love them it may help as well.

This is not a definite way to fix all of your marriage problems overnight, but it can in fact set a new tone for the way you communicate with one another so that future conversations are more healing and less conflicted.

Learn more here: <a href="http://gettingoverabrokenheart.net">getting over a broken heart</a> and <a href="http://gettingoverabrokenheart.net">get over a broken heart</a>

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