Dating After Divorce Plus More Stuff They Forgot To Tell You

by Bobby Goins

Dating after divorce doesn't have to feel like some insurmountable task that you're just dreading. You have emotional baggage up to your ears and you're trying not to bring that to a new relationship. You will though. It's natural. Your new love is going to dump some baggage of their own on you as well. Your baggages will just cancel each other out and everything will be easy.

Not buying that one? Well then, let's see what will work in reality. The first dating tip I'm going to give you is to not rush into dating. People tend to go a little crazy after a divorce and end up in a messy rebound relationship. You may wake up one morning and realize you're living with someone and not sure what happened. Take the time to mourn your marriage properly before moving on.

You can also take this opportunity to work on your own emotional issues. You can't sit around blaming your ex for everything that's wrong with the world. Get up off the couch and have a good time doing something you love to do. You'd be surprised how many other people are out there doing the same thing and some of them are really cute! Also studies show that happiness is very attractive. So you owe it to yourself to be happy.

You may want to date but fear how it will affect those around you. You probably have children to think about and don't want to feel selfish. It used to be customary for people to not date again until their children had all grown up. That's not what's going on anymore. That doesn't have to be your future. Forty percent of today's homes are step-families. People are dating after divorce and they're very happy.

How can you get this new life for yourself, though? There are dating sites specifically for people who are divorced with children. If you don't want to go that far, you can still join one of literally thousands of sites. You can even find free sites but just be careful. Usually a personality profile and email is all a dating website will require to set someone up. So you have to use your own judgment when selecting the right person from the onslaught of new faces.

For those of us who aren't great with computers or not comfortable putting personal information on a profile, it's still easy to find a mate. You can find local dating companies that actually have offices that you can visit. They personally help you select someone, and create neutral dating scenarios for you. A new trend in dating services is adventure groups specifically for singles and/or those who are divorced. If you're a thrill seeker then you will love these dates. Since everyone in the group is already single and there for the same thing, you're halfway there!

Also, as much as you may not want to believe it, your close friends may know the perfect person for you. Not all blind dates go as horribly as in the movies. Who better to steer you toward your destiny than someone who already knows everything about you and your potential soul mate? So the next time someone says they know someone you'll just love, don't automatically shut your ears off.

Now you've already done your soul searching and found your true self. So now it's time to sit back and really thing about whom you want your perfect mate to be. Most people get married when they're young and driven by hormones. Now on your second time around you can be more discerning. Take your time and wait for Mr. or Mrs. Right to come along. Trust me, they will. And before you know it the fear of dating after divorce will be a thing of the past.

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