Keep My Married life - Do it Rightly in Five Means
by Belle Smith
When you said "I do" on your wedding day, you purchased yourself a ticket for a roller-coaster ride that is stoppable by death alone. You will go through both exhilarating and sickening periods, bad and good times and bold and cowardly days. Once you and your partner become unwilling to go through the down times, you're relationship will be in crisis. If you don't work it out, you'll eventually go separate ways.
To avoid the reactive question, "How will I save my marriage?" be proactive in handling your union and in keeping your sacred promise. Below are five guidelines on how to put through this proactive approach.
Communicate with your spouse.
Communication must be a two-way street in marriage. Intimacy and connection develop from disclosure of thoughts, hopes, ideas and dreams. However, it would be ineffective if you fail to grasp the exact message of your spouse. To know what he/she truly means, listen with your ears and eyes. The body language will tell you what the words couldn't.
Utilize healthy silence.
When rage and depression dominate you, you tend to blurt out hurtful statements. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, just be quiet. Let the negative feelings ebb first; otherwise, you blurt out lines you might regret later. As you think silently, reflect on how you can convey your ideas without hurting your partner's feelings.
Marriage keeps the fire.
Spend quality time with your partner on a regular basis. If you have kids, you can ask your parents or friends to look after them for a couple of hours. Continue doing things you enjoyed before you settled down. Continue writing love letters, giving gifts and surprising each other. Tell your partner your love hasn't changed a bit. Sweet things like these can keep you from undergoing the save-my-marriage conflict.
Marriage means compromising.
You will not agree with your spouse at all times. You want to order steak but he/she asserts sweet and sour fish. You suggest you jog together in the park but he/she feels too tired to do it. You want to send your child to a private school but he/she worries about the high tuition. In situations like this, make a deal with your partner. Reach an agreement and gladly fulfill whatever your deal is.
Marriage is an investment.
You get benefits if you treat your marriage as your own business. If you're responsible for it, you'll try out all the options to nurture it. You will ceaselessly evaluate the issues and threats to prevent failure from coming. You will celebrate its strengths and milestones too. Expectedly, it will get special attention from you.
Don't wait for your marriage to get miserable to deserve your attention. You wouldn't want that day to come when you have to undergo the save-my-marriage struggle and feel sorry for being negligent of your partner's needs and relationship's issues.
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